We call him, STD

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 12:30:07 AM Hello Miss! Name of James how'd do?

SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 12:47:48 AM Name of Kristin wazzzzg00d?

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 12:49:25 AM I'm thinking your stunna Ray bans! What are you doing I'm I-ah-wa?!

SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 12:51:52 AM I'm thinking you're sexxxayyyy!! i am doing nothing in I-ah-wa?!

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 12:54:10 AM Your profile said your a Hoosier but my little GPS thing said you were like 15 miles away. :( Your gorgeous yourself, you must have good genetics. Wanna get knock-up with my baby's?

SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 12:57:39 AM Why not? I've been to Planned Parenthood so much they said my next one was free ;)

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 12:59:35 AM It's a choice not a child. So what school do you go to?

SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 1:01:56 AM Well I'm glad to see we agree philosophically

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 1:03:54 AM Like I would by you a ring, but getting married is like a business partnership/ legally binding contract. It's not like the old days where you marry for land and cattle and your father would give me a dollary for taking you off his hands.

SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 1:04:15 AM btw you should really change your username. I read it and keep thinking of the female pharaoh, Hatshepsut, which says all sorts of stuff about you...

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 1:05:53 AM Hephaestus (he-FEE-stus or he-FESS-tus), God of Fire, Smithing and The Forge. At least you didn't say something stupid like is your name some kind if std?

SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 1:12:09 AM Well your Greek god reference would have been impressive if you didn't refer to my father offering you a "dollary" for taking me off his hands. It's dowry. Hatshepsut would not approve. Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 1:16:50 AM LOL wow.com They don't make girls like you up here in Iowa I hope I can keep you. But like not lock in my basement but put you on a pedestal. She was the greatest woman alive. Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 1:20:09 AM Good god your 8 1/2 hours away! We need to do something about that. SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 1:24:19 AM The greatest woman alive is Hillary Clinton or Carrie Bradshaw and you can't keep me any more than you can keep the domain to wow.com What kind of joke was that anyway? You can't just put .com at the end of a word and say it's comedy anymore than you can put a bird on something and say it's art. Although the bird trick usually works. SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 1:25:18 AM You could sell your possessions and pack the remaining into your car and drive out here. I'll let you rent space in my driveway. ;) Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 1:35:16 AM I think I met my match. I'm kinda dumbfounded at the moment. Usually I'm really witty but I'm stumped. How did you become so hilarious?! But I beg to differ on Hillary Clinton silly girl. I would love to move but I work at John Deere and until I'm done with school I'm here. But I could move to Moline. ;) Side note I just refinanced my house to a 15yr. I wanna get this bitch paid off well at least most of it so I can sell it. I did just by a 2013 Mustang and my closet of of outfits won't fit in it. I have 3 other trucks and a garage full of toys. But if your ready, willing, and able to have my children without using your punch card to plan parenthood I might consider it. Plus I have a sweet last name "Mahony" go ahead and doodle Kristin Mahony on your notepads and tell me how you like the sound of it rolling of your tongue. Questions? Comments? Concerns? Please fill feel to message me back and let me know what your thinking. SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 1:43:31 AM Questions, comments, concerns? You sound like an accountant or some middle-level manager with a stick up her butt. My God! Would you say that to our children? I'd make you sleep in one of your trucks in my driveway. And you're single and bought a house huh? And 3 trucks plus the mustang? Sounds like wise investing practices from my future hubby. I'm being honest too. I mean, sometimes I buy 7 or 8 gallons of milk at the grocery store. It's just me here but who knows, maybe like 50 stray cats will wander by in the middle of the night hungry for some milk. I keep snake anti venom for the exact same reason. Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 1:54:57 AM Well when your single like me and have been making 70-100k since I was 21. All I do is spend money I pretty much do what I want when i want to like spend 47k on a car every two years. I do have a fat 401k. 35 % of my paycheck goes there. In all reality I am getting old. I'm almost 30. I am the "IV" so I really need to find a uterus to incubate my child so I can of course name him James the "V" I'm getting a Business degree. You should know that involves economics, accounting, and just smart money choices yada yada yada. Your very fertile which is a plus b/c I could totally pay child support if need be. SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 1:59:52 AM Bernie Madoff was chairman of NASDAQ and look what happened to him. A degree doesn't mean dick when it comes to smart money management. And you're planning our divorce already? Better start saving because I'm taking the house, the cars and your 401k! I'll see your ass in court, sucka Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:04:50 AM I forgot your a smart one. My little tricks won't work on you. A piece of paper just looks good. But I have great health insurance. My house is worth 170k I owe 140k. What kind of mommy SUV do you want? So lets just get this straight. You will pretty much wear the pants in this marriage? Oh I don't believe in divorce so went I'm locked in I would make it work. Like the old days if its broke fix it. SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 2:07:58 AM If it's broke fix it and don't ever let it go? I assume you bring this same mentality to your menagerie of trucks. It's plainly obvious that not only will I wear the pants in this loveless marriage but I'll also keep the checkbook. Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:11:51 AM Yes Kristin. Ahh gawd I wouldn't ever let it go. I'm on point when it comes to relationships I know what's acceptable and what's not. Quiz me see if I get the right answers. SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 2:16:16 AM Ok just one question. Winner takes all. We go to dinner and the hostess takes us to our table. Where do you sit? There is an answer and don't bullshit me with "wherever Kristin wants" or whatever. There's a place at every table where you should sit and where I should... what is it? Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:20:29 AM It is more romantic to sit opposite each other. This way you can not only communicate verbal but also non-verbally. One of the most romantic things you can do on a date is offer your date a taste of your food and then reach across with the food on your fork to them all the while looking into their eyes. Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:25:01 AM Did I won?

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:25:28 AM Win* I hope I get to lick your southern peach.

SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 2:26:56 AM No, you didn't. The lady faces the room and your ass faces the wall. Keep it in mind on your next date and we don't like eating off your disgusting fork.

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:28:44 AM Well I would never do that I was just trying to jazz it for your sake! And the last date I went went on that how I did sit! So when we doing this whole getting married thing?

SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 2:29:03 AM Whoa there Egyptian princess, let's keep it classy. I can tell you right now that my "southern peach" is as dry as the Sahara desert

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:29:11 AM What's your number?

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:29:49 AM Well I'm going to fertilize your flower.

SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 2:33:11 AM You're going to have to do a lot better if you want to marry this. A gentleman is not a gentleman through dumb luck. Thankfully that hostess probably sat your dumb ass in the appropriate chair.

SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 2:34:43 AM Now what makes you think you're not just pissing me off? Have I given any indication that I appreciate your pathetic attempts at seduction? Listen ****, I'm wearing the pants and I think it's time for your to go to sleep. Outside in your truck.

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:35:54 AM This is true. She did seat us. Fml. What are you doing on this site? I mean you are gorgeous and smart. Who ever had you last sure did fuck up. I'm kinda sad your ad far away a ad you are but I think it's in my best interest to keep talking to you.

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:36:32 AM Are far

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:37:35 AM It's cold like 28 out. Ill stay inside. How many kids you want?

SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 2:41:07 AM I'm sure one of your 3 cars have seat heat.

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:42:06 AM No. The mustang has a racing package. I'm selling two of them don't worry. The other is a '63. So tell me more about you.

SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 2:43:36 AM No seat heat. No girl.

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:44:35 AM Life's tough. I offered to by you a SUV like a escalade or sumthin.

SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 2:45:12 AM Buy*

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:45:59 AM Yeah I'm texting on my iPhone and cooking food. I'm over it. I don't need you to correct me

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:46:42 AM You haven't answered many questions of mine

SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 2:48:17 AM Someone should now because it's going to be pretty sad when our 4 year-old is correcting your grammar. Get a couple more cars, let's make it an even 10. I hear they're good investments, Ben Bernanke said so.

SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 2:49:17 AM Really? What disgusting question are you referring to that you honestly expected me to waste my time answering?

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:52:11 AM I have a motorcycle also. So if you wanna bash that, go right ahead. Like what's your ring size? What brand do you want? What style? I like Tacori.

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 2:53:51 AM How the hell do you know so much about politics and and the economy. I could only imagine the conversation I would have in person with you. For being 22 you on top of your shit.

SouthernBell205 2/13/2013 2:58:22 AM Really dude?? You think this is flattering? You're almost 30 and are gloated that you've been stuck at the same salary for almost 10yrs. You know my starting base is well above what you're making but despite that I'm not materialistic and I really don't care that you saw a Tacori billboard on your way to paint tractors. Still, as stupid as you are with money, you just may take out a second mortgage and buy me a ring. After all, you're above water on your house, right? So do it. I'm 5.5. Send me a pic and I'll give you the PO box to send it to

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 3:03:52 AM You ever heard of "Bank of the Swiss" it's where you put money. The fact the I have spent lots on just bullshit I do have 500k tuck away. It's called old money. Your from the south you should know what that is.

Hephaestus99 2/13/2013 3:07:49 AM Oh and btw with my stupid Business degree your wrong b/c I will make a 100k plus at deere. But considering I don't paint tractors that's a good guess. Have you even thought twice to ask what I do?